HOW TO TALK TO YOUR TODDLER ABOUT GOD AND METAPHYSICS

I don’t do traditional— that’s not my style. I do REAL LIFE. I teach my son that

GOD IS REAL

ENERGY NEVER DIES

LOVE NEVER DIES

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

LIFE IS MULTIDIMENSIONAL

IT’S OK TO HAVE FEELINGS— and that I’ll always be his safe place.

IF IT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU, YOU'LL MAKE TIME FOR IT

IT’S ABOUT MAKING MY SOBRIETY A TOP PRIORITY. IT’S ABOUT TAKING FUCKING ACTION. So, tonight I went to an online zoom AA meeting— I had to— I needed to— I was sooo fucking irritated today. I did not want to continue being an asshole to my son. I’m just burnt the fuck out. I’m going to bed waaaaay too late, then I’m utterly exhausted when I wake up early the next morning. Yes, I KNOW I need to go to bed earlier…..BUT I want some downtime for myself. I want time to dick around on my

THE UNIVERSE MIRRORS YOUR BELIEFS

I just finished watching a documentary about The Law of Attraction. And I thought I knew what it was, but I learned some interesting stuff tonight. The Universe mirrors our beliefs about ourselves. So, if I feel unworthy or that I don’t deserve a good paying career; love; peace or happiness— then guess what??— that’s EXACTLY what I’ll get. It was pretty recently when I’ve truly stepped into my own power and TRULY believed that I’m worthy of ALL THE GOOD THINGS IN LIFE. I’m worthy of making good money; I’m worthy of love; I’m worthy of being loved— I’m a damn awesome mom to my son; I’m fucking creative as shit and I’m fucking hilarious. Seriously, I’ve really just said a big

I'M WORKING ON OVERDRIVE AND THIS 101 CONSTRUCTION NOISE IS MAKING ME FUCKING CRAZY

Dude, I’m working like a maniac— have to get a lot of shit done— it’s crunch-time. And this 101 construction noise is making me absolutely fucking crazy(er)!!!! I have Misophonia. Misophonia which is a disorder in which certain sounds trigger emotional or physiological responses that…….

I JUST WATCHED THE PARIS HILTON DOCUMENTARY

I really thought it was going to go into more detail about the abuse she endured at that Provo nightmare of a school. I avoided watching it because I didn’t want it to trigger my PTSD. I did cry a bit though, but I’m glad it didn’t get too graphic explaining the abuse. When I hear others tell their story of abuse….especially if it’s a movie, I feel like I’m experiencing it right there with them. I also tend to absorb other people’s (people that I love or, am very close to) abuse and turn it into my own. For example, my

STRESSING TODAY AND WHAT I'M DOING ABOUT IT

I’m really trying to make a conscious effort to NOT feed my anxiety, stress and fear, but it be HARD, yo! Ugh……I totally felt like curling up in a little ball today on my bed and sleeping for 4 hours, but that’s just a fantasy. Instead, I worked on web/creative projects all day, but my mind felt like it was 18 million miles away. I felt so distracted, anxious and I couldn’t focus. I swear, I felt like I was

PROTECT YOUR SPACE

It doesn’t matter who the fuck they are— PROTECT YOUR SPACE. PERIODT. Because ain’t nobody gonna do that shit for you. You are responsible for your fine ass. I will not tolerate victim mentality from anyone. I will not allow myself to be manipulated anymore. The guilt trip thing doesn’t work anymore— yeah, it sometimes rattled my cage, but I don’t let it consume me.

SHOWING UP AND HOLDING YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE EVEN IF THE SHIT HITS THE FAN (LITERALLY)

I don’t FEEL like writing tonight, but guess what?—- I am because I made a commitment to myself (and to you) to write daily blogs. I’ve LITERALLY had a very shitty day. My pup, Kahlua, is sick. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with her. She’s having TONS of mucus-covered diarrhea……I know, sounds DELISH, huh? The shit storm started bright and early at 6am and Kahlua diarrhead all over herself, the hardwood floor in the kitchen and ALL over the blue rug in the living room. Cleaning and scrubbing up diarrhea is NOT fun. My pup will be 16-years old this Halloween (10/31/20) and I’m very worried about her. I don’t want to write too much of my fear here because I don’t want to conjure anything and have my fears come true. I was JUST writing about that yesterday…….shit, it could have been today…….who knows…..my brain is covered in poo today. I was telling a friend that even my

MY PUP, KAHLUA, IS NOT FEELING WELL

No long post tonight. My pup, Kahlua, is not feeling well. I’m spending time with her right now— sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight, to be with her. I’m scared and I’m worried. I just saved myself and Kahlua. A prayer for her would be much appreciated. Thank you so much. Love y’all. ❤️

I JUST CAN’T TODAY

Do y’all ever have those days where everything just seems to take 18 times as long as “normal”?? Fuck…..it’s been one of those days. Donnie took a late nap, then, of course, he got up late. And guess what that means??— yep, he got to bed late…..like laaaaaaate. I think it was close to 10pm when he went to sleep. Ugh….toddlers need a ton of sleep— I’m well aware of this, but sometimes your nights just don’t go as planned. And you know what??— that’s fucking OK. Of course, it’s OK NOW— now that

WHAT DOES SELF-CARE LOOK LIKE TO YOU?

Self-care can mean a lot of things to me. For instance, I chose to snack on a bowl of granola cereal instead of inhaling a HUGE Costco pumpkin-strudel muffin— that right there is damn self-care. Btw…..ALL 12 of those delicious muffins were supposed to go to Donnie’s teachers/Directors at his daycare tomorrow. Well, that was the fucking PLAN, untiI

STOP ASKING WHY

You drank because you’re an alcoholic. That’s what we do. Who fucking cares the reason. Just fucking do it. Just fucking GET SOBER.

The more time we spend pondering WHY we drank (or WHY we are still drinking), the closer we are to fucking death. Period.

Look, you can go into depth about the whys and whatnot later....you do that in stepwork, but for now, just don’t fucking think.

That’s where we get ourselves into trouble— we think too fucking much.

YOU’LL EITHER GET SOBER OR YOU WON’T

You’re still drinking because alcohol is still working for you, in a fucked up way. You’re still drinking because you are too scared not to. You’re still drinking because you haven’t found a substantial replacement (ie: God / a higher power) for your liquid courage. Look, alcoholism is a soul sickness. If you’re still drinking it doesn’t mean you’re “weak”, it means you’re fucking sick— it means your soul is sick. And if you’re sober, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re “strong”. Willpower has absolutely NOTHING to do with addiction and/or recovery.

DEALING WITH THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE

Just recently, I was asked by a friend how I deal with my son’s dad’s death— meaning, what are some of my coping mechanisms that I use. Let me tell you, it’s been a long journey dealing with my son’s dad’s death and it has NOT been easy— it’s been fucking tough as fuck. I cried for 4 months solid after I found out about my son’s dad’s death— that totally fucked up my poor sinuses. And I didn’t want to cry so hard and so constantly because I was pregnant! I didn’t want my little baby to feel this pain I was feeling. But my child is perfect…..emotionally and physically— I’m so grateful and blessed for that. I’ve had 2 sinus surgeries in

BEYOND PISSED

I’m BEYOND pissed right now. I don’t care how long “we’ve been friends” or……more than friends, don’t fucking disrespect me and video call me when you’re drunk. He’s an active alcoholic right now. Fuck him. I’ve been through enough fucking shit with my son’s father……from him dying from his addiction and all the fucked up bullshit I went through with him when he was alive. FUCK THAT and the Goddamn horse you rode in on. And he didn’t even know my son’s name!!! REALLY???? You want to be